Thoughts on Life

Being a researcher has led me to think in a broader sense. It has allowed me to understand/analyze life and try to explore its beauties. Here I present some thoughts that I have developed after years of pondering and thinking. Hope you enjoy and benefit from them!

1. Worries

Human beings have a tendency to worry about things. Some worries are beneficial (encouraging actions to change a situation) while others are harmful (leading to anxiety and fear). Here I would like to address a solution for the latter type of worry through an example.

Imagine a guy going to an ATM machine and withdrawing $100. Once reaching home, he realizes that his 100 dollar bill has gone missing. Worried and panicked, he searches everywhere. Hopelessly, he traces his steps back to the ATM but finds nothing. All of a sudden, he receives a call from his family member that one of his close family members has been taken to the hospital for a critical emergency (near death).

I want you to imagine his situation. At this point, what is he worried about? The missing 100 dollar bill or his hospitalized family member? Why is he no longer concerned regarding his missing money? When human beings are faced with two worries, they automatically discard one of them (the less harmful one) while focusing solely on the other (potentially more harmful).

Taking this concept and applying it in a broader sense, imagine that a man is subjected to all the possible worries that exist in this world (Job loss, health problems, family issues, etc.). According to the conclusion from the short example, we know that all of his worries will cancel except one. Which worry will that be? If you have guessed it right, it is his last breath at his dead bed. Because at this point, nothing matters.

Hence we, including myself, need to realize that as long as we are breathing we should always have a positive attitude towards the problems we face.

2. Expectations, a disaster for relationships

When a relationship develops between two human beings, it is usually based on mutual respect and agreement. Here, I would want to highlight the element of expectations within a relationship. But before this, let's understand what a promise is. A promise is a verbal contract that a person makes with another to fulfill a certain action. If this promise is broken, then the relationship is harmed. Expectation, on the other hand, is a type of non-verbal promise inspired through interactions. It is a feeling of hope that is based on the current/past situation that can hinder the relationship if it’s not met. Interestingly, the other person, whom the expectation is placed upon, is often times unaware of the situation.

A simple example of this would be: A kid receives expensive presents from his parents, every year, for his birthday. However, a certain year, the present was something simple, or the parents forget of this birthday. Even though there was never a promise made, the kid had expectations in his heart. Another example would be of two university students who worked together through the first three years and in last year, one of them chose to work with someone else for a course project. Even though no promise was made, the other person must have felt bad when finding out his close friend chose another partner.

I am convinced that expectations play an important role that should be properly tamed within one's self. It is a hidden element that develops between two people without any symptoms and can be the source of breaking the relationship.

3. Hidden Value

If I were to ask a group of people whether they wanted a million dollars, I am pretty sure that all of them would say yes. In fact, anyone in this position would say yes. However, if I were to tell them that there is a condition to it, which is that they have to pop both their eyes. I am confident that no one would want the million dollars with the fulfillment of this condition. This means that our eyes are worth more than a million dollars. But if we are gifted with such expensive assets, then why is it that we are not satisfied? Why is it that we never think to ourselves that we have very expensive assets on our body?

The reason is because they were given to us for free AND that majority of the people have them. This reduces its value, until we come to a point where we are about to lose them (like the example above).

4. Unexpected Reply

There are three moments in my life, which I recall, where I was given an unexpected reply.

5. Pleasure vs. Happiness

Pleasure and happiness are two different things Let’s take an example, consuming drugs will lead to pleasure; however, helping a student in his homework will lead to happiness. There are two elements that distinguish these two feelings:

Happiness is long term, but pleasure is short term. Thinking back about the time you helped some will make you happy but thinking back about an occasion when you took drugs will not give you pleasure.
Something that leads to pleasure requires an upgrade for the pleasure to strike again; however, something that leads to happiness can be redo by the same actions. When someone takes drugs, they are often looking for newer or stronger drugs to retain the pleasure level. However, when someone helps a student in linear algebra, for example, they don’t think of helping someone in quantum mechanics next to feel happy i.e. no upgrade required.

Useful Thoughts

1. The easiest way to develop any habit (good or bad) is to make a friend that possesses this habit.

2. At the end of the day, life boils down to decisions.

3. Death is the only topic that everyone agrees on.

More to be written....